About Me
Before I ever knew what Bazi was, it already knew me.
And later on, I would find out that it was there the moment I came into this world and the reason why I'm still here.
When I was born, my parents had my chart read - and my Chinese name was chosen from what the reader found there. They were also told that I had "noblemen" watching over me (important for later) - something my maternal grandfather said too (he could also read Bazi).
I grew up knowing about this, but it didn't really mean anything to me aside from being just a cool Chinese thing.
Especially after we moved to Australia.
I was only 5, and had to quickly adjust to a new country, new language, new school, new way of living. My parents had me reading and memorising the Confucian classics all throughout primary school, which I absolutely hated! All I wanted at the time was to fit in, and this was just another reminder of how different I was.
My teenage years were spent helping my parents raise my 2 baby sisters and being the responsible, mature, reliable, "good girl" eldest daughter I was proud of being.
And because I could never see myself working a regular 9-5, nor did I have any knowledge of what potential paths were out there, I fell into studying Creative Writing at uni, simply because it felt fun to me.
*Note: I still had no idea who I was or what I really wanted to do though.
THIS NEXT PART IS EMBARRASSING, but looking back, I was the perfect target. Someone who'd spent her whole life being "good".
In my uni years I entered an emotionally abusive relationship. He was a med student and everything looked good on paper. But he slowly chipped away at the parts of me that didn't fit the life he wanted for himself.
He pushed me to figure out what I wanted to do. When I said colour analysis, he laughed. I tried interior design - that was acceptable enough to him, but I didn't feel it in my heart. Then Feng Shui - that was embarrassing. Astrology and tarot were out of the question. And if I ever went to a work dinner with his hospital colleagues, I should say I did something more "acceptable".
I'd spent my whole life making myself palatable to fit in. This was just another version of that.
And when I tried to leave after he cheated, he told me he didn't know what he might do to himself.
So I stayed. For 2 more years.
(I know - my friends and I call this my "clown era").
Eventually, I got out. I was 24, and feeling more lost than ever - so I went searching.
I didn't know what I was looking for exactly...
purpose? direction? some kind of proof that I was more than just the version of me that had just survived the last few years?
And so I found Western astrology.
For the first time, I saw that my emotional depth wasn't "too much". That the way I saw the world wasn't weird or wrong. That there was a blueprint for who I was and it was beautiful.
I was hooked.
I spent an entire year taking courses, and for 4 years it was my world - the language, the mainstream spirituality / astrology community on social media - I was finally somewhere I felt like I belonged.
Except - surprise, surprise, I still didn't really belong.
I had constant imposter syndrome, that nagging feeling that I wasn't really one of them, that I was performing belonging rather than actually having *it*. I didn't realise at the time that it wasn't my knowledge or my skills that were the problem.
It was that I was only bringing half of myself to the table.
If you're looking for some spiritual "aha" moment you won't find it (yet) because one day it just hit me -
WTF am I, a Chinese girlie with the wisdom of an entire ancient culture behind me, doing? Why the F was I trying to squeeze myself into a spiritual community that was never built for me?
I had completed my Bazi Foundations back when I studied Feng Shui, so duh - I went straight back to it, starting my Advanced Bazi studies.
I had also spent the last few years doing the uncomfortable work of unpacking my own internalised Sinophobia.
The shame around being Chinese, around claiming a practice that was mine by birthright, around taking up space as a Chinese woman in a world that had spent years telling me to make myself smaller.
It opened everything up at once. Where Western astrology showed me who I was on the inside, Bazi showed me how my life was always meant to unfold. The patterns, the timing, the cycles - things I'd lived through but never fully understood.
THIS is where I had my spiritual "aha" moment because what I discovered in my own chart stopped me cold.
When I was born, the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, and had the doctor not proactively checked (my mum wasn't experiencing any adverse symptoms), I wouldn't be alive.
She saved me as I was entering this world.
And right there, in the ancestral pillars of my Bazi chart - was one of my noblemen.
A divine helping hand, written right there in my chart, helping me take my first breath.
I've never felt more aligned or clear on my mission this lifetime.
I'm here to give fellow bicultural Asian women the full map of their inner world AND the way their life is destined to unfold.
Because when you finally see yourself as more than whole instead of not enough, you step into a confidence and clarity about who you are that nobody can take from you.
That's what it gave me. And I KNOW you can have it too.
I'm still completing my Advanced Bazi studies - and if you want to know the full toolkit & qualifications I bring to this work, you can find it here: